How to make a pizza

By Imagene

Proofread by Lela S.

Hi this is Imagene! Today I am going to teach you all how to make a pizza. This is a really quick and easy recipe that you should all be able to follow at home.

  1. Find a recipe.
  2. Download the recipe.
  3. WAIT you need to pay to download
  4. WHAT PAYMENT METHOD DO I USE
  5. Choose what payment method to use
  6. Go to the downloaded recipe
  7. Print it
  8. Which printer?
  9. The one that you normally use
  10. Ok but I don’t know what it’s called
  11. Go figure out what it’s called
  12. Ok
  13. Choose that printer
  14. Wait it’s out of paper
  15. Go fix the paper
  16. Where’s the paper
  17. Should be right next to it
  18. There it is now where do I put the paper
  19. In the paper tray
  20. Printed! What do I do now?
  21. Look at the recipe
  22. It’s all blurry
  23. Get your glasses
  24. Which pair
  25. The reading glasses
  26. Ok but which ones are the reading glasses
  27. The peachy ones
  28. Ok I got them now it’s not blurry
  29. Are there any ingredients on the ingredients list that you don’t have?
  30. All of them
  31. Go to the grocery store
  32. Should I use a car, bike, walking, helicopter, airplane, train, hyperloop, rocket ship, galaxy-class starship (enterprise)...?
  33. Walk there
  34. But it takes 45 minutes and I don’t have time
  35. Ok then bike
  36. I have a flat tire and I don’t know how to inflate it and it’s raining
  37. *sigh* just take the car
  38. Ok but I don’t have a driver's license
  39. Ask someone who does to take you there
  40. Ok I did and my mom’s taking me to the grocery store

A few months later...

  1. I CAN’T FIND THE INGREDIENTS AND WHICH TYPE OF CHEESE DO I GET
  2. Look harder for the ingredients or ask somebody, get mozzarella cheese.
  3. There’s nobody to ask and I looked harder
  4. Well, you are there with your mom, right?
  5. Yeah I am
  6. Can you ask her?
  7. I guess so sure
  8. Ok I found the ingredients.
  9. Go to the checkout aisle
  10. Ok I’m there
  11. Buy the food
  12. But there’s people in front of us in line
  13. Ok wait for them to pay
  14. Now I’m at the front of the line
  15. Ok, now pay for the groceries.
  16. I don’t have money on me
  17. Ask your mom to pay for the food
  18. Ok I asked her she is paying now we are checked out
  19. Load the grocery bags into the car
  20. They are heavy
  21. Ask your mom
  22. Ok I asked her she is loading them in
  23. Get in the car and ask your mom to drive you home
  24. Ok I am home now what do I do now?
  25. Unload the ingredients
  26. Done
  27. Now follow the recipe
  28. But the recipe is not going anywhere, how am I supposed to follow it?
  29. Look at the first step and do what it says
  30. But I’m not sure what these words mean
  31. Go get a dictionary
  32. I can’t find the dictionary
  33. Look harder
  34. I think we gave it away
  35. Seriously? Well just do as much as you can
  36. Ok

A few hours later...

  1. I tried following the recipe. It did not work. Now our kitchen is covered in flour, bits of egg, and tomato sauce.
  2. *sssiiiiiggghhh* JUST ORDER A MUFFIN PIZZA

Epilogue

  1. WHAT IS A MUFFIN PIZZA WHERE DO I GET IT FROM HOW DO I PAY FOR IT WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS IS THERE ANYTHING I AM ALLERGIC TO I DO NOT SEE MUFFIN PIZZAS ON THE MENU WHAT DO I DO
  2. ARRRRGGGGHHHH